Can I be a role model while working in my slippers?

Showing children the value of freelance work

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A few weeks ago we went to see my husband's brand new office. Big, shiny and rather impressive, our eldest son ran around touching things he shouldn't and asking question after question after question.

We span him around on daddy's office chair, taking photos of him and his baby brother looking like little apprentices behind the desk.

'Daddy this is so cool,' our son said wide-eyed. 'Can I work here when I'm a grownup?'

It was the kind of event that he'll probably remember, even at three and a half.

As we left the office behind and went back home, I couldn't help but feel a little niggle in my stomach. 'What do I do that impresses our children?' I thought. 'Do they even know what I do?'

Of course, I'm being a tad melodramatic. My sons are only three and seven months old, but what about when they get older and mummy doesn't have a big shiny office too? Will they value my work and career in the same way or just think I'm messing about, playing Mummy Pig tap tapping on her computer?

Then last week, an event at nursery really underlined what I'd been feeling. During the end-of-day handover, my son’s keyworker told me that the children had been role-playing working in an office. ‘Leo’s been saying all day that he’s typing on the computer like daddy’,’ he said.

My heart sank.

‘Why isn’t he pretending to be me working on the computer’? I thought.

But then I thought about our current setup which means that my son hardly ever sees me writing. I work at a rapid pace during my baby’s nap times (and when he’s at nursery), and sometimes in the evening (when he's asleep). And, as I’ve never physically left the house to work since he's been born, I'm not entirely sure he knows I am anything other than mummy. I couldn't remember the last time I ever spoke to him about my work.

To him, I'm the one that is always at home when he is. Always there after nursery and bedtime, and everything else in between. Mummy is never gone because of work. Wine with friends, yes. But never work.

Of course, this is a massive benefit of being freelance and why so many of us put up with the downsides such as late payments and an unpredictable income. But I also want to be a professional role model too, and I'm not entirely sure how to do that in a way that makes sense to my children.

Do I need to change the way I view and talk about myself, and perhaps see my work as a little more impressive? Probably. But how do I do that day-to-day?

I took to Twitter to ask the experienced freelance parents within my network for their advice and experience. Many have older children and established careers where home-working has been the norm for years. I wanted to know how they do it and talk about themselves around their children.

The parents that replied suggested lots of great ideas around talking about work with children. Here's what they had to say…

This tweet from Steve Folland, a freelance audio producer, presenter, writer and dad, also shows a totally different POV that really made me laugh.

Perhaps it’s all just about showing our children that there are lots of different ways of working depending on what makes us happy as individuals. Big shiny offices make my husband happy and smashing deadlines from the sofa in my slippers is what makes me - and them - happier too right now.

Both deserve to be spoken about equally and with the same level of importance. It's time to start showing them why.

How do you talk to your children about your freelance work and career? Drop me a comment below or send me a tweet on @CatHufton.

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