Guest Post: How to manage the six-week break when you're freelance
By Jennifer Barton
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Freelance writer and mother of four, Jennifer Barton shares how she tackles childcare and a busy work schedule throughout the six-week break, and why some of the best opportunities always seem to arrive when you book a holiday.
Though I’ve been a freelancer for more than a decade and consider myself relatively ‘well-seasoned’ (or at the very least, old-ish), the six-week summer ‘holidays’ always send a shiver of panic down my spine.
It’s not that I’m not used to the patchwork schedule that comes with working around young children - I have four, and the youngest isn’t in school yet, so this has been my work-life dance for the past decade.
It’s because I know that no matter how desperately I try to organise myself during this period, it will always be mad, chaotic and a bit stressful.
The truth is, I can’t afford to take six weeks off, and I don’t want to - I enjoy how my career as a writer is growing and changing in new directions, alongside my family life. As someone who struggles with social anxiety and isn’t great at life admin, I often find bursts of creativity come when my days are less rigourously scheduled around school drop-offs and pick-ups, when I haven't had to use up my energy on small-talk I find stressful. Which means the summer months tend to be fertile ground when it comes to new work opportunities and creative breakthroughs.
I've noticed there are also opportunities to be had when staffers and other freelancers go on holiday themselves; in fact, thinking back to the last few 'holidays' and half-terms with the kids, they've always coincided with an exciting work prospect for me.
One small issue: these fab opportunities seem to appear only when I've arrived somewhere in the English seaside, our holiday destination for a week, which happens to have uncharacteristically good weather for once. There’s no childcare for miles, my husband is off work and he’s booked in numerous family activities. Then, of course, an email from the dream publication I’ve been pitching for months lands in my inbox, telling me they need my article (which of course involves copious research and interviews).
So I wage that impossible battle in my head: A) Family harmony? B) Amazing career opportunity and cash? Or C) Do I try to make it all work even if I nearly lose my mind trying? (Note: I always choose C, with mixed results).
Even after all of these years and summers off school, I’m still making plenty of mistakes, as a parent and a freelancer. But I’m learning: as I see my kids getting older, I realise their needs are less physically demanding, but involve more emotional hand-holding, which means prioritising my own mental health and making sure I can be present for them.
So while I'm not saying I've nailed it yet, here are a few things I’ve learned over the years…
You don’t have to panic-accept every piece of work you get offered when you can’t manage it
This is how my summer holidays usually look: I finally get to Devon, or Cornwall, or somewhere beachy for my first time away from home in about nine months, and then get offered overtime pay for an end-of-August turnaround series of articles. In a panic, I often accept, without negotiating, knowing I don’t have childcare, knowing it will put a strain on my relationship with my very-much-not-a-freelancer partner. And recognising that not only will the holiday be somewhat soured, but I won’t realistically manage to produce work to the standard I’d hope to manically tapping away at a computer from 10pm nightly or locking myself in my room while my husband takes the kids to the beach for the third day in a row. Cue frayed nerves, stress levels through the roof and my husband shooting daggers at me.
It’s not fun for anyone. Sometimes, it is worth it, but mostly it’s not, and I’ve learned that I just need to be honest: explaining I need a couple more days on the deadline or telling a client I can take on a project the following week. Spoiler alert: I won’t have lost the work (plus, I’ll do a better job when I finally get to it, especially since I’ll have had a few days’ off).
The scarcity mindset of the insecure freelancer has plagued me for years and is deeply detrimental to my mental health: living like that makes it almost impossible to take proper breaks, so you’re in a damaging cycle of stress, too-little pay and feeling like everything you produce isn’t good enough. I’m stepping away from this now and it’s amazing how much more creative and excited about my work I now feel.
The kids don’t have to be entertained by you 24/7
The lack of childcare means the six-week summer hols for school kids creates a near-impossible situation for working parents, who are already strained beyond belief after this pandemic year of kids being home, and home-schooled, for months on end.
It’s not easy to work with little ones at home, but I’m a big believer that encouraging our kids to play on their own (or together, if they have siblings) isn’t just hugely helpful for our work, it’s also important for kids’ development. Just because school is out, it’s not up to a parent to become an all-singing, all-dancing circus performer and feel pressured to do it all - some days, it’s absolutely OK to veg out at home. Or turn on the TV for them if you need to finish something.
Also, use the village around you: the parents, friends, in-laws etc. who can take your child for the day or night. My older two spend a week or two with their grandparents in the summer now and it’s been wonderful, not just because it means I can get some stuff done but also because it’s helping me to become less of an anxious, obsessive parent (especially when they tell me how they've cycled through various ‘secret passages’ in their grandparents’ village, totally unsupervised)...
Be realistic about what you can manage - prepare for the unpredictable
People say that freelancing is unpredictable, which is true. Do you know what’s even more unpredictable? Parenting. Here’s a brief list of a few things we’ve had come our way during half-terms and summer hols the past couple of years: scarlet fever, a cut lip that required emergency surgery, a norovirus bug we thought was car sickness and ended up giving to multiple members of our extended family on our last trip together, and a poorly dog who had to see multiple vets up and down the south coast. This is the reality of ‘summer hols’ with the family, and the pandemic only adds more pressure.
Which is why it’s so important not to take too much on - I've learned this the hard way. Now, I often try to use my little pockets of free time to deal with the less-glam, but still very important aspects of freelance life such as making sure all payments are up to date, evaluating the direction I want to go in with clients, refining some pitch ideas, making sure the dreaded tax sheet has been updated, and setting some business goals for the next several months.
Be honest with your partner
My partner isn’t a freelancer and is regularly boggled by how the freelance world - and freelance mind - operates. In the past we’ve had mega-rows about me working when the kids are off school, but I’ve started explaining things and communicating better about this and that candour means that we can organise our summer in a way where he takes more family stuff when I need him too - without being resentful if it’s happening when he’s off work, too.
I underestimated how foreign my world is to him, not to mention the fact my work landscape changes dramatically from one week to the next, something he's not used to. This year I’ve been my most honest about my work struggles, dreams and accomplishments and I can truly say unloading has made him feel like a real partner in this arena. I just wish I'd had these candid catch-ups about my work with him far sooner.
Do something for you - just you
Sure, the kids are home, you've got no childcare and a mounting pile of work you’re not sure you’ll manage to finish and you’re also trying to pack for a weekend at your in-laws (while leaving the emotional baggage from your last visit behind).
Now’s precisely the time to pretend you don’t have any obligations and do something purely for you (after organising a playdate for the kids, first): a long walk, a cinema date with yourself, or three hours with a favourite book.
It’s so important to give yourself some headspace amidst all the chaos. Plus, the beauty of freelancing is that inspiration can strike at any minute - you don’t need to be hunched over a desk for that next great idea to come to you.
Jennifer Barton is a freelance journalist and mother-of-four who swapped New York for London. She covers a range of subjects for publications including The Telegraph, The Independent, WIRED, InStyle, Grazia and Parents, from consumer trends to parenting, but especially loves to write essays exploring topics like grief, anxiety and her ever-evolving personal style. You can follow her on Instagram or Twitter.