Having a baby doesn't mean my work comes cheap

Why it's ok to be too expensive and have firm boundaries

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It's 12.15 am as I type and both of my babies are asleep - one with a temperature and one with a tooth in his head that we're sure will appear any minute now. I'm experiencing that strange phenomenon of parenthood where you look forward to sleep from 3pm onwards, and then just can't find it when the time comes.

Instead I've found myself talking to strangers on a Baby Centre Instagram post about postnatal anxiety and the 4pm dread. I'm currently reassuring a girl named Laura that her life will not always be this unpredictable and that baby will eventually sleep all night. 

It's been nearly six months since I last published a newsletter and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. Our son Rocco arrived in early August as though he had always been here, making the leap to two children a little easier than I had anticipated. Although not without its road bumps. 

I started writing about a month after Rocco arrived and I loved every second of typing away in the dark while he slept in his Moses basket. Quite honestly, in those first few weeks, I've never felt so content. I was calm, grounded and loved tackling the odd commission when it came through. 

But I’ve not gone crazy and when I've felt myself slipping into 'oh maybe I could squeeze in one more thing', I've had a serious word with myself. I need to keep the plates spinning but I also don't need to try and work like I don't have a small baby. I've said no when I've needed to and set some tight boundaries on fees - so I'm doing work that pays fairly and doesn't drain my time and energy. 

But of course, like in every freelancer's life, there's always someone ready and willing to test those boundaries. In fact, I’ve received some of the cheekiest quotes for work I've ever had in the last six months. And from people that know my personal circumstances too.

One, who I have worked with before, tried to lull me into some work by telling me they had increased their rates for editing. After a friendly DM on Instagram, they said they needed freelance editors for 'casual weekend and evening work'. 

What they were actually proposing it transpired - six emails in - made me spit out my tea. She was right: the rates had gone up but so had the volume of work. Astronomically. A day's worth of editing and some, delivered in an hour, no less. 

'Sorry, did you miss type that?' I replied. 

'No,' they said. 'we're going for quantity over quality. But we do have tons of work'.

The smiling emoji almost sent me over the edge.

After typing a polite but stern reply that contained the words 'exploitation' and 'industry rates', I made an even firmer promise to myself that I would stick to my guns on my fees and my boundaries. If I'm going to do anything other than watch Housewives of Beverley Hills and sit crossed legged in baby sensory classes in the next six months, it needs to be worth it. Creatively, financially and logistically. 

I later received an apology from the same person on a personal email. They were sorry they had come to me with such a low fee but it was what they were being asked to push. I appreciated the apology but I still felt annoyed that they were trying their luck and hadn’t been upfront from the off. Did they think I'd be so desperate that I'd just say yes because they threw in the words 'flexible, causal work'?

There's always a temptation to take lower paid work, or fees that you know are not good enough especially in quieter periods or when your confidence has taken a knock. But in my experience, when you take these jobs, you have to do twice as many of them to earn what you need. Your bank balance suffers, along with your self esteem, and it all to often leads to burnout. 

So I'm reminding myself and you, that it's ok to say no. It's ok to be too expensive for clients if their rates don't work. It's ok to say no when someone is pressuring you into delivering volumes of work that you know aren't possible - and it's definitely ok to remind people of industry rates and standards. We're not just doing this for ourselves, but everyone else who works in our specific industry too. 

All any freelancer really wants is to take the jobs that pay them what they need and match their expertise and experience level while allowing them to work in a way that is fair. No one worked this hard to give it all away for free.

Being freelance doesn't mean being taken advantage of, and having a baby definitely doesn't mean dropping your rates. I hope 2022 is the year you raise yours.

Until next time.

Cat x